I have been thinking a lot about timing lately. Not the passage of time itself, but timing. The period of time when something happens. One definition of timing is: “The control of when something should be done”. I think more and more I am realizing that I have no control over the orchestration of events in my life. Instead I see the Lord revealed in the timing of things.
So what are some of these events? Let’s start with some dates. Tony had his resection surgery September 1, and after which we thought he was “cancer free”. He died exactly 6 months later, on March 1. This year, March 1 was also Ash Wednesday, which marks the beginning of Lent, a solemn time of sacrifice and reflection. The timing seemed very fitting.
Lately, even His provisions are given with beautiful timing. The biggest need, as I see it, is care for my family. The past few weeks, I have had several people ask questions about how I am going to live my life. Even when I was closing some accounts at the bank, the man helping me asked, “so what are you and the girls going to do?” Honestly, I don’t have much of an idea. This isn’t anything I have a plan for. It’s really hard for me to take care of all three girls on my own. The thought of doing it everyday with no end in sight seems daunting. But I have some peace the Lord will work it out.
I’ve been praying for God’s provision. I have had about 30 people join me in this prayer. One of my biggest needs is for a nanny that could come to my house four days a week and watch the girls. I need someone with energy and who isn’t afraid to talk about heaven, among other things. This felt hard to find, so we started praying.
I had gone to Florida for a vacation with Caroline and some friends in the middle of March. When I returned, I had a week left before I had to start work, and in that week, I texted the two people I know who nanny. I asked them if they had any interest or availability to watch my girls. Do you know what they said? One of them could do it long-term, but she can’t start until August. The other one? She just resigned her previous job and could start in two weeks, but is starting grad school in August so could only work through the end of the summer. Pretty perfect. And worked out in less than a week. Thank you Lord.
So the time when I’m at work is covered, but what about the in between times? The early mornings when everyone is waking up and I’m trying to get out the door? Or the evenings, when I’m trying to get everyone fed and to bed? Those times are exhausting for any parent. Before I could worry too much, my dear friend, Eve, and her husband, Cody, came to me and offered to move into my house and help me take care of the girls. It’s something they had been praying about for awhile. When they offered, all I could do was cry. It’s a provision I couldn’t have even imagined or asked for.
I am completely humbled by the way the Lord has provided so beautifully for my most immediate needs in taking care of my family. And the timing?! I think it is no coincidence that Eve and Cody moved in last Friday, on Good Friday. It felt like an end to a very hard period of Lent. And so on Easter, though feeling the absence of Tony, I had friends over to celebrate. Together we packed in my house for egg hunts and conversations over brunch. We shared stories about the Lord, both what He has done for us, and what He continues to do. Seeing the timing of these events, these provisions, has been a welcomed encouragement in an otherwise difficult season.