These words have left us speechless

Family and friends, this is Tony writing. Normally you’re reading Mere’s well crafted words on the blog, but I wanted to write this particular post. It’s been a rough few days in our house. We’ve had some sickness in our house over the last few weeks: babies with runny noses, mom and dad coughing and feeling puny at times. Everyone was making slow progress in getting better, yet I was still feeling overly tired and worn out after doing things that shouldn’t have made me tired. I decided to move up some scans from mid-Jan to last week. These are routine follow up scans post surgery and post chemo to check on the cancer, more importantly to continue to verify the lack of cancer after the successful resection.  
When it comes to being sick with a cold or mild aches and pains, believe it or not, I can be kind of a wimp….I don’t like feeling bad… at least when I think I should be feeling fine. However, something in my gut told me to move the scans up just to rule out anything major, put my mind at ease and encourage me to “suck it up” and deal with my winter cold.

 Unfortunately the conversation with my oncologist after he reviewed the scans was not what we were hoping for. The cancer has returned with some tenacity. I have a large tumor in each lung, and he stopped counting the smaller ones when he reached 20. He also located a tumor in my tailbone, which explains the pain I’ve been dealing with over the last 3-4 weeks. We thought it was overwork and just some adjusting to the way my muscles in my core were recovering….not the case.

So, we’re a little stunned. I went to the appointment to put my mind at ease and get on with things. In reality we just entered another nightmare. Needless to say, I’m pretty sad, really angry and a little fearful of what the future looks like. I now have 3 beautiful daughters and an incredible wife. I’m more sad and concerned for them than I am with my own health. For some reason I didn’t want Meredith to have to write this, I don’t know why, I just felt I wanted to share this.
We’re preparing for another battle, Round 348……..and counting.

We don’t know a lot of details yet, I have lots of appointments and meetings getting scheduled for next week. I don’t know what treatment options we’re looking at or what surgeries would look like at this point. We’ll try and keep you all updated. We greatly appreciate your prayers and words of encouragement.   
We’ll talk more soon.

Tony

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12 thoughts on “These words have left us speechless

  1. Tony, we think about you often, and will continue to put positive thoughts in our prayers.

    Take care and thanks for the update….

    Betty and Roger

  2. Tony, Tony, Tony, we are so very sorry to read your sweet note. This story is almost hard to believe, as you know. We do know how much you love Meredith and your three precious daughters; hopefully, they will inspire you to “keep on chugging along”. Everyday, we pray to St. Peregrine to help you battle this whole cancer thing. Please let us know if there is anything we can do. May God bless you richly. ..Lots of Love, Uncle Bob and Aunt Sandy

  3. Will continue to pray for your heeling process and that wonderful family of yours. Never give up, I know you won’t. When the going gets tough, the tough get going . . . time to get going again.

  4. I don’t believe we have ever met except maybe when you were really little, but I know your sister. I will pray hard for your family and your recovery.

  5. Tony, you and your family are in our thoughts and prayers. May you find peace with what is and then concentrate on allowing your body to recover and heal.

  6. Tony, Meredith, and girls- we are so sorry to hear there are more tumors. We love you and continue to pray for your family. We look forward to meeting Audrey and Emily, and seeing big sister Caroline too!

    Rachel

  7. Hey brother…. I am committing to praying for you and for encouragement in the midst of difficulty and unknown. I know people often say that. But I really will pray for you. I know God is fully mighty and capable of all things. I submit to His will of course but I also present my request to him on your behalf. I havent seen you in a while. But I love ya brother. You were always such a good friend even as a student of mine back in the late 90’s lol…Man we are getting old…;) Reach out for and with anything bro… Let me know how I can help in this time… Im willing Tony… Take care and may God bless you and your wife and beautiful girls!!!!-Mark Hammond (Weaz)

  8. Tony, Mere & family,
    You are in my thoughts and prayers daily. All my family is praying for all of your family. Love you all,
    Jeannine

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