At the beginning of 2016, Tony and I talked about things that we were hoping for in the new year. We talked and prayed, and listed 5 items that we hoped God would lead us into for this year. They’re big ticket items, like a job for Tony and getting to know our neighbors. But what was at the top of the list? Complete healing. Tony has been in a good place with his treatment. He rarely has pain, and just has to battle the nausea and fatigue from his medication (Xalkori). At the end of January, we celebrated a year of being on Xalkori, and are so thankful that it has worked this past year.
And then it all changed last week. Tony suddenly started feeling pain, and then noticed a new bump. He was due to have his quarterly scan this past Monday, and it confirmed, there’s a new nodule. Dr. Rushing refers to it as a “satellite” tumor, that it’s still small and near the original mass. But, the fear remains: something has changed. So here we are again, getting a biopsy to learn what this new growth is. They’ll run genomic testing on it to see if there are genetic markers they can target with a different medication. While the genetics program was still relatively new when we did this over a year ago, they now have a more advanced test with more targets to look for. Before we had the 4, now it’s the 6s.
This gives us some hope. But really, at times I feel it’s just so much I don’t even know what to hope for. Good quality of life? A new medication that works? A shrinking tumor? A more promising surgery? Miraculous healing? I guess really, I’d welcome any of these. I have come to find that when I have no control over a situation, I can more clearly see God working. As I think through the past 2 years, I can see how God has provided for us in every way, and answered our every need (and when you are sick, there are lots of needs). So why would I doubt that He would continue to be our Provider? The only thing we are waiting on an answer for is a complete cure for Tony. It seems that in this regard, we must be patient. Wait on the Lord, and continue to put our hope in Him. Will you join us in this? Simply waiting and praying is a difficult place to stay. It doesn’t translate well to our culture of deadlines and exercises. But we have been living in the waiting for 2 years now, and it looks like we’ll be here awhile longer still.