In September we had family photos taken by our friend, Megan. She’s a great photographer, and we had a beautiful day. However, if you’ve ever tried to take photos of a 2 month old, you may know the potential that exists for things to be more difficult than planned.
Caroline just wasn’t interested in having her picture taken. After about 15 minutes, she grew tired and hungry. We took a break. We spent some time comforting her. We re-grouped.
The hiccups of the day were similar to where we find ourselves in Tony’s treatment. Tony finished his last regimen of Gemzar & Taxotere at the end of August. Since then, he’s been on a break, with doctor’s orders to get stronger and more active. His hair has started to grow back in. He looks great, and feels good. In many ways, he’s back to his old self (great sense of humor and all…and apparently a senior picture flashback!)
But we are reminded that a picture of a baby doesn’t reveal all the work that it took to get that child to look so adorable. We must look beneath the surface. In this break time, it’s hard to know what is really happening with Tony’s tumor. The last MRI Tony had in August showed that the tumor hasn’t shrunk since February. We know that as he regains his strength, the tumor could be gaining strength as well. We’re waiting to see what the next step will be in the treatment plan (possibly a clinical trial). The waiting is hard. This whole process is taking longer than we had hoped. It’s wearing on us.
We’re trying to re-group. To find comfort in the Lord and the way He has blessed us. Many days this is an active process. We wake up and chose to be content with where we are that day. To realize we are not in control. To try to learn what it means to be patient. To look for the joy in life and celebrate it when we find it.
I love our family pictures. Megan got some great shots, and most all of them capture the moments of the day: the silliness, the struggles, the times of impatience, the imperfection, the love we have for each other, and the joy that comes with laughter. It’s such a true picture of us.