Persevere. It’s not something we like to do. It’s not really something we’ve been taught to do. Think about it. If given the choice to pull off a band-aid hair by hair, or in one quick motion, we would all choose to rip it off. Sure it will hurt, but it will be over soon. Then we can move on and forget about the pain.
We’ve been learning a thing or two about perseverance lately. But, while our trials are caused by our physical health, they are also mental, emotional, and spiritual in nature. Chemotherapy has been scheduled “until further notice” with very few updates. Bed rest has been prescribed, but with no real prognosis of how long that could be (except for the obvious due date limit). And so we’re learning how to live life in this new normal. We have an abundance of time, but restrictions on how we spend it. Our bodies ache – regularly. What may be hardest of all, is that we don’t know anyone else whose life looks the way ours does right now.
So, how do we learn to welcome each day and find contentment in our new pattern? How do we keep going when boredom sets in? A stack of books and a streaming Netflix account are a good start, but when the weeks turn into months, and seasons come and go, we need more than a couple of distractions to carry us through.
For us, the greatest tool for true perseverance has been found in learning to rely on the Lord. This may sound like a canned answer, but the more we have journeyed through this, the more He has sustained us. He gives us the ability to see what is truly important in our lives right now, and not get caught up in the small things. He is able. He gives us hope for tomorrow.
This past Wednesday marked 12 weeks of bed rest for me. Current count is 89 days, for those who are following along. Though this is a long time, I am thankful our child has had this time to grow and develop. At my OB appointment last Thursday I was told that the baby should be developed enough (today marks 36 weeks!) that we likely will NOT need a NICU stay. This is an amazing answer to prayer. This is tangible. This is great hope. With this I can endure through the desires to “nest” and instead remain resting.
Tony has found that he doesn’t really have ‘good weeks’ and ‘bad weeks’ anymore, but that with this regimen he is tired every day. While it’s hard to think about jumping into parenthood already fatigued, he realized recently that he has not had any tumor pain for about 7 weeks. He won’t have a scan for a few more weeks, but we are hopeful that all these treatments are working! God is healing and sustaining, providing us with hope that allows us to patiently endure these difficult times. Thank you for praying with us!